At Last the World Won [CrWr]

My heart asks me a question I can't answer:
"Am I earthly, or am I infernal?"
This amazes me; my thinking hits a start,
Ah, at least I still have a ‘heart'!
O you cruel world, I was born selfless,
And you wish to make me heartless!
You wish to draw out of me, all my goodness,
And in the success of that, lies your happiness!
I pity the puppets in your demonic hands,
Trapped like the past buried in the sands.

I was born an angel, serene and pure
You change me, of that I'm sure.
I smile, when actually I'm ready to kill,
I dance when I'd rather be still,
Within me, the colour of purity fades,
Instead of love, there are killing spades.

You desire that I praise and flatter,
Just because it pleases you better.
You think changing wouldn't cost a shilling,
But to change, you are never willing.
You preach of love, humility, and justice,
But you are made up of hate, pride, and malice.
Ablaze within you is a devilish fire,
Goodness you've burnt in the crucible of your ire.

But I can see this is the way to be,
Only in my dreams can I be a spirit free.
I too will ask my heart not to beat,
Kill my conscience and let myself cheat.
I will be what I was never ought to,
Because you desire it, and it shall be true.
I've understood things aren't flowery good,
Covers our pure hearts, your evil hood.
You wish to change me, and change I will.
The good in me, I will myself kill.
From now on, till my death,
Pretence shall fill each breath.
Into my new home, you fake world, I enter,
Defeated by your puissance, I finally surrender. . .




(30 January 2007)