Life Lessons from a Theatre Director

If I start it, the story will be use up a million words, so I'll directly skip to the point(s):

Make it fun

Nobody enjoys injecting effort into something that they don't relish. I'd be sorry for you if you were one of the people who are stuck doing something they inherently don't enjoy, but the point is that even in activities we revel in, light moments are always welcome. Create an atmosphere around that is light, humorous and fun.

Acknowledge your role as the team leader...

and make sure that you always give out positive vibes and stay optimistic. Don't let your negative thoughts rub off on the team and get you all down.

Welcome criticism, but know where to draw the line

Be open to ideas from people who might not be authorized or asked to help. Genuinely consider ideas that may turn out to be for the greater good. Nevertheless, know that you'll have to put your foot down at some point and take decisions that not everyone will appreciate. The director may be "only just a director" but in the end it is her call.

You're never too prepared

No matter how far the big day seems, you never have too much time to prepare. Stay focused, do not be delinquent, and work hard.

Trust spontaneity

Preparation sometimes comes in the way of excellence. True, you can never be too prepared, but the line has to drawn somewhere. Put in a sincere effort; and leave the rest to the D-day eustress.

You'll have to surrender control at some point

No matter what, your duty will be over at some stage, where you have to have faith, trust your cast and crew, and God, and hope everything works out well. And guess what--if you've put in an honest effort, it will! Loosen up!

Look for the positives

During the performance, keep track of all the positives. (The goof-ups won't need conscious tracking. :P) And once it's over, congratulate yourself and your team on the good work. When you start working on the next performance, be sure to use the feedback constructively.

Thank you, Lovneet, for being the in/direct source of wisdom.

Transcending the "System"

Just entered my room after a quiz* and a lecture. I don't intend to raise a voice against anyone at all, but this is what happened in the last couple hours:

The quiz started almost at scheduled time, but only in some of the exam rooms—roughly for half of the test-takers. I was in this lot.
The questions were unfair at best. We hadn't covered at least 3 of the 10 questions. Yet, with a combination of intelligence, guess-work and copying, we managed. (Don't doubt my actions, though—this is about the general public.) We were asked to stay back after the quiz was over. The justification: "If you go outside, you'll text the answers to friends." Needless to mention, even within the classes, all cell phones were discreetly lit up, and fingers were moving at warp speed to ask for/give help.
The result was that the first lot of students didn't do too well, and the others did way better.

Fast forward to the lecture. An extra lecture scheduled to make sure the course gets covered before we call it a semester. Anyway, those three questions got covered—either within the lecture, or as part of the topics delegated as homework. Some people had heard the quiz has been cancelled, and that another one will be taken in lieu of it. I seriously doubt this rumour.

So that was what happened. My reactions:
Really really cross from start of quiz to end of lecture. Mentally using lots of not-very-nice words on the way back. And now thinking:
There are people who will blame their destiny, their circumstances, or more relevantly, the system. And there are people who will be so good, even the screwed-up (Pardon me.) system can't get them down.

JOIN THEM.
Lesson learnt.


*"Objective" tests typically lasting ten minutes and contributing 5-10% towards the total marks for a course. Particularly renowned for the usually effortless copying opportunities.

The Three A's of a Great Relationship

In the last few weeks I've been a bad person. A bad friend more than anything else. I've been irritated, irritable and irritating. Now finally I've taken a break from college and am at home, unwinding and organizing my thoughts. And unexpectedly, it's working. Only a few hours of serious thinking, and I've already discovered a huge hidden part of my entangled web of ideas, and—believe it or not—I've almost entangled it too:

Relationships are probably the single most important part of life. Every relationship requires you to adjust, accommodate, and accept. These three A's can often be the difference between a lasting relationship and a failed relationship. However, it is very important to truly understand what these words really mean.

Adjust: It is very rare that someone can get along with you exactly as you are. In the real world, some (or many) small changes are required. Make those changes. These changes should not come as a burden or obligation—you would happily make them for a loved one.

Accommodate: Accommodating is the complement of adjustment, in that it has to be everywhere that adjustment is. If another person cannot adjust in a certain situation, you should accommodate. Keep in mind though, that there is no other way for this to work than on a reciprocal basis.

Watch out that adjusting and accommodating should never require you to curb your personality. Never let anyone in the world restrict you to a person that's less than the real you. Minor changes here and there are great, but a relationship that seems to become successful only if you shake up the foundations of your very being isn't a very good idea at all.

Accept: Where adjust and accommodate fail, and otherwise, acceptance comes into the picture and probably erases all negativity. Acceptance is never easy, and in fact requires more selflessness than most of us have. Yet, it is one of the strongest foundations of love. Sometimes an incompatibility cannot be removed; instead embrace it, respect it, enjoy it.

All of this said, there are two very important "boundary conditions" (engineer-speak):
1. None of the three A's (or let's say a relationship) should ever come in the way of your becoming a better human being. Be a work in progress and strive to be continuously in the process of improving. At least with me, the conscience is enough to decide which traits need to go in transcending to a higher self. So there is usually a clear line between improving and not having to curb myself.
2. Like I've mentioned already, there's no way a relationship can work unless both (or all) the persons involved contribute their share of love, attention and the three A's, among much else. If a relationship ever gets abusive, the best thing to do is to call it quits.
It's perfectly normal for things to not work out even when you have given your best. You didn't end up with a great relationship, but with a great lesson. Trust me, that's not bad at all.

From my learning, I've certainly become a happier person, and am ready to make the people around me happier. Hope this can have the same effect on you too. :)

Suicide Note 1.0 (Don't be alarmed!)

One of the most extreme things a human can do is to kill another. Take the level of craziness some notches higher and you have enough for suicide. I believe that in 99% of suicide cases the emotional upheaval veils a better solution. (Killing animals is extreme to me too, but it is an inseparable part of civilization by now.)
YET I've realized there's one powerful aspect of suicide—the suicide note. Yeah, right? Here's how:

Today somehow I started thinking of how I would write my suicide note if I ever had to. I made a mental list of the reasons that trouble me enough. And as I thought about each one I realized that most of these, partly or wholly, directly or indirectly, are self-created troubles. The remaining few might not be my fault, but then were they really significant? Not on the scale of a human life.
Thus the idea of suicide (so to speak) dissolved and I flexed my be-grateful-for-everything muscles.

The catch here is that I'm NOT even close to suicidal to begin with. Hardly a surprise then, that the reasons that were anyway not strong enough to drive me to suicide, didn't succeed (or should I say fail?). But what's relevant is not that I survived this activity, but that I felt better after it. By listing out my problems I realized that they are neither HUGE nor irreparable. The result: I felt more in control of my life and (more) grateful for all the good stuff—once you start counting it's a whole lot.

This time all of this happened and I just went with the flow; next time I'll drive the flow of thoughts: (Try this out.)
1. Grab a pen/cil and paper.
2. List out all the problems and reasons for unhappiness in your life.
3. Categorize them according to which ones you are responsible for, which ones don't have a solution (are you sure?), which ones don't deserve the attention, etc.
4. Write down what you can do about each one—try getting rid of it, work your way around it, stop bothering about it—whatever gives you power over the problem.
5. Read the whole list and start executing around the ideas you generated. Gratitude muscles twitching a little? Flex them and count your blessings.

Oh, and whenever you write* your Suicide Note 2.0 please give it a more positive name and let me know about it, and the whole experience.


*Make sure you write it out—2.0 is all about the written form. Your brain will also react better.