The Three A's of a Great Relationship

In the last few weeks I've been a bad person. A bad friend more than anything else. I've been irritated, irritable and irritating. Now finally I've taken a break from college and am at home, unwinding and organizing my thoughts. And unexpectedly, it's working. Only a few hours of serious thinking, and I've already discovered a huge hidden part of my entangled web of ideas, and—believe it or not—I've almost entangled it too:

Relationships are probably the single most important part of life. Every relationship requires you to adjust, accommodate, and accept. These three A's can often be the difference between a lasting relationship and a failed relationship. However, it is very important to truly understand what these words really mean.

Adjust: It is very rare that someone can get along with you exactly as you are. In the real world, some (or many) small changes are required. Make those changes. These changes should not come as a burden or obligation—you would happily make them for a loved one.

Accommodate: Accommodating is the complement of adjustment, in that it has to be everywhere that adjustment is. If another person cannot adjust in a certain situation, you should accommodate. Keep in mind though, that there is no other way for this to work than on a reciprocal basis.

Watch out that adjusting and accommodating should never require you to curb your personality. Never let anyone in the world restrict you to a person that's less than the real you. Minor changes here and there are great, but a relationship that seems to become successful only if you shake up the foundations of your very being isn't a very good idea at all.

Accept: Where adjust and accommodate fail, and otherwise, acceptance comes into the picture and probably erases all negativity. Acceptance is never easy, and in fact requires more selflessness than most of us have. Yet, it is one of the strongest foundations of love. Sometimes an incompatibility cannot be removed; instead embrace it, respect it, enjoy it.

All of this said, there are two very important "boundary conditions" (engineer-speak):
1. None of the three A's (or let's say a relationship) should ever come in the way of your becoming a better human being. Be a work in progress and strive to be continuously in the process of improving. At least with me, the conscience is enough to decide which traits need to go in transcending to a higher self. So there is usually a clear line between improving and not having to curb myself.
2. Like I've mentioned already, there's no way a relationship can work unless both (or all) the persons involved contribute their share of love, attention and the three A's, among much else. If a relationship ever gets abusive, the best thing to do is to call it quits.
It's perfectly normal for things to not work out even when you have given your best. You didn't end up with a great relationship, but with a great lesson. Trust me, that's not bad at all.

From my learning, I've certainly become a happier person, and am ready to make the people around me happier. Hope this can have the same effect on you too. :)